wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
I look excited, but its just a facade.
Randomize
