This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
Randomize
