this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
Randomize
