apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
