The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
