she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
Randomize
