Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
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