just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
Randomize
