She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
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