Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize