did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
Randomize
