between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
Randomize