she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
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