i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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