I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
Randomize
