the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
it was like his penis was on wheels.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
Randomize