I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Randomize
