Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize