A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
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