i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
I'm bleeding and have questions
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
Randomize
