Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
I feel great
I just peed on a car
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
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