Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
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