She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
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