She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
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