we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
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