You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
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