Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
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