Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
