got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
Randomize
