you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
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