arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
