Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
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