Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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