So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
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