The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
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