Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
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