you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
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