i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Randomize
