SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
This baby is an asshole
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
Randomize
