We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize