1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
I am spending my child support on dildos
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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