they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
