i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
Randomize
