Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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