My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
Randomize
