Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
Randomize
