My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize