You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
