Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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