So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
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