So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize