is your mom at the bar?
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
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