My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
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