i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Randomize