Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
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