What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Cover your peen. We're going out.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
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