i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
now i know why i became what i already was.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
i think i scared a bird with my dick
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
