my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
