I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
