I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
don't judge my taste in strippers
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
Randomize
